


A Riddle, Wrapped in a Mystery, Inside an Enigma

by riddleinacapitalm



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Attempt at Humor, Domestic Avengers, Humor, Identity Issues, Movie Reference, Natasha-centric, Tony Being Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 19:33:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3459257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riddleinacapitalm/pseuds/riddleinacapitalm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The truth is a matter of circumstances, it's not all things to all people all the time. And neither is Natasha.<br/>Natasha is the best at being whatever she needs to be in the heat of the moment, and good at being whatever she wants to be in the meantime.<br/>She also watches a lot of television.<br/><i>Five times Natasha makes up stories about her past, and one time she tells the truth</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	A Riddle, Wrapped in a Mystery, Inside an Enigma

1

It's been over two years since the Chitauri attack, and the Avengers have all found their way inside Tony's tower. Things were pretty quiet, after the whole AIM and HYDRA thing, and Tony was a little bored. And when Tony was bored, he fixated. On Natasha.

See, Tony still didn't trust Natalie. Natasha. Whatever her real name is. Neck stabber. He trusted her to save the world, trusted her to kick ass, but he didn't  _understand_ her. He prided himself on knowing everything, hacking intelligence agencies, and being the all around genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist he claimed to be that fateful day in the helicarrier. The fact that a total mystery lived in his tower, sleuthing, getting up to  _who knows what,_ had him on edge. He hacked all the necessary files for the rest of them, knew of all the things she did for SHIELD thanks to the mass infodump online, but _who was she._ When Churchill said that he could not forecast the actions of Russia, Tony understood the man on a deeper level than he ever had before. Tony also could not figure out his resident riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.

And when he didn't understand something, he utilized his big genius brain and poked, prodded, and, well, irritated his subject into explaining itself to him. Subtly, of course.

Tony slid in front of Natasha that morning, both of them nursing cups of coffee. He assumed it was Natasha's morning, even though for him he was just finishing up after a long day in his lab so it was his bedtime, "So... Underwear model in Tokyo. Was that before or after you became an agent of stabbing unsuspecting billionaires for SHIELD?”

Natasha regarded him for a moment, then took a long sip from her cup. Tony took it black, because all of the milk and sugar slowed him down, but hers was filled with vodka, heavy cream, and expensive coffee liqueur that Tony always kept well-stocked but never remembered the name of. Tony didn't know if she drank it because she liked it, or if it was because the drink was called a White Hot Russian.

"Before. The recruited me while I was in between shoots in Harajuku, because my aesthetics were ideal for an undercover op in a neighboring country." She took another sip, "I was stuck in a marriage that fizzled out long before my almost-affair with a has-been actor in Japan shooting a commercial. They did not make promises of safety or happiness, which is what I was promised when I married, but rather excitement and danger." Natasha gives him a little smile, "That, and the chance to stab wealthy men when they least suspect it."

Tony looks at Natasha suspiciously, looks around the room as if anyone there would be able to confirm her story, and then looks at her again for tells that she would never show. He huffs a little bit and finally walks away muttering to himself.

* * *

2

It is Thursday, and Thor's sort-of birthday (God's didn't have birthdays, they documented time with battles and wars.) His Earth day was the reunion of him touching down on New Mexico powerless and tazed and hit by a car. So Tony had a party, naturally, and the original New Mexico crew and all of the other Avengers posse came to celebrate Thor's day.

Tony bought a karaoke machine, a stage, a disco ball, and backup dancers. Well, hired backup dancers, not bought. People were not objects to buy, as Pepper had to insist repeatedly.

Thor brought mead from Asgard, and everyone was very very drunk.

Steve was surprisingly good,  _of course,_ and sang oldies that were probably the hip and happening when he was in his prime and duetted with a dreamy-eyed Coulson, Darcy and some boy named Intern did all of the contemporary duets, and Clint rapped Busta Rhymes of all things. Even Bruce and Tony did Weird Science. Thor was oddly taken by Taylor Swift as of late, so recited "Shake it Off" in his typical godly manner to no background music, clutching Mjornir rather than a microphone and projecting his voice to the whole floor.

Natasha, however, remained in the position of observer, despite Tony's drunken insistence that he sing along with them.

"I don't sing."

"Why? Does it make it harder for you to kick ass and take names if the world knows that you can do anything other than a dry monotone accompanied by a raised eyebrow?"

"Yes." Natasha confirms, and then observes Tony for a second before her lips quirk almost like a smile, "Wanna know why?"

"Yes. Yes, I do. Tell me." He drapes himself alongside the couch that Natasha is sitting on, and is inches away from her face (not in a sexual manner of course, his drunken self could admit that he was terrified of what she would be like in bed,) to be able to properly observe her through her story telling.

"The last time I sang, I was auditioning for one of the most notorious crime lords in the city. She owned a night club, and she used that as a pretense to set up auditions. I was an okay singer, could carry a tune well enough, but the real hiring process depended on my being able to successfully show that I could seduce someone, and also that I had a killer instinct. There was one other girl auditioning, so at the bosses request I unleashed my killer instinct on her. The job was mine, easy. The most the other girl could do was pull my hair." Natasha quirked her mouth into that amused little smile she sometimes got when she was reminded of something hilarious. Of course Natasha looked fondly back on beating up a woman who pulled her hair in a singer death match, "She wasn't looking for a lounge singer, but rather someone who could seduce her rival by effectively singing his dead mother's favorite song. I guess I was something like a sleeper agent, waiting for a signal to make a move.

"However, my employer's old right-hand-man, thought to be dead, came back and got in with her rival. He quickly made me. He knew how to read all of her plays, and my role, emulating the man's dead mother, was transparent when you were looking for it. I got out of town before either could seek retribution, and spent the next few years using what I had learnt to keep me safe, even if the beds I sought refuge in were filled with all sorts of the monsters of society. Eventually I became a gun man for hire, using assassinations and cons to keep me off the streets. SHIELD saw my potential and recruited me.”

"That's... That's  _bullshit._ "

Her lips did that twitch thing again and she was laughing at him.

* * *

3

Thor is telling tales of his Allfather's brave feats, also trying to explain Yggdrasil, whether Valhalla really is a place that Valkyries take fallen warriors to, that his father is supposed to be in charge of. Instead he really isn't explaining the  _science of their whole universe being on giant tree,_ but instead going through his dad's greatest hits in battle delivered like an epic poem.

Tony waits for a lull in Thor's storytelling before zeroing in on Natasha, who is looking blank as usual, though her eyebrows are looking a little amused.

"Speaking of fathers," Tony quickly turns his cringe into a grin, "Natasha, you got any childhood stories for us?"

The whole room gives Tony some version of an eyebrow raise. To their knowledge, Thor is the only one who had a father that was invested in his children's emotional well-being, and even then he kind of screwed the pooch with Loki. The rest were dead, neglectful, or downright abusive.

Natasha's mouth quirks in her almost-smile.

"My father worked for a dirty cop that doubled as one of the more dangerous crime bosses in the city." She recounted fondly, "I was going through my prepubescent rebellion phase, so I was attempting to befriend my reclusive neighbor in an an attempt to avoid spending my days in the household I hated. I was buying my neighbor milk when my father's employers paid my household a visit, and shot up my whole family. Luckily I had endeared myself to my neighbor enough that he let me stay with him. My parents and my sister's death had no affect on me, but my little brother was the only one I cared about and for him I had to avenge his death.

"It turned out my neighbor was a cleaner as well as a recluse, and taught me how to kill while I taught him how to read English." Her smile was small but fond, before turning sad, "I was hasty in my revenge and drew the attention of the police. He died killing the man responsible for slaughtering my family, and I decided to spend the rest of my life trying to honor his memory."

"Oh. Uh. Okay." Tony squinted at Natasha. She emoted, but she usually only emoted when she was  _tricking people_ into thinking she was genuinely emoting, "Is that... The plot from Leon the Professional?"

* * *

 4

Tony is lying down in the Iron Man suit, faceplate up, at the end of their save-the-world mission. The repulsor in his left foot was broken, he had 7.6% power, and he was doing fine, really, just a little overwhelmed by the swarm of robots when he couldn't just fly up and blast them all to hell. He didn't need Natasha to come backflipping,  _backflipping,_ onto the scene and using her "willow bites" to short circuit all of the bots surrounding him in under five minutes.

"This is getting to be a habit for you." Natasha comments, gingerly sitting down next to him on one of the wrecked robots.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what? Stand?"

"No, that ninja thing. You don't have Cap's super serum, right? Cause humans shouldn't be able to fight like you."

Natasha tilts her head to the side, and the quirk to her mouth means that she's gearing up for a good one, "I used to be. Just human, I mean. I was studying abroad in Taiwan, but my boyfriend had questionable ties to a mob boss and I was coerced into becoming a drug runner. Of course, things went sour, and an experimental synthetic drug was sewn into my abdomen and later released into my system when I suffered a blunt force trauma where the drug was located. Afterwards, my mental and physical capabilities were dramatically increased, to the point where I was able to alter reality with my mind. I was able to overpower my captors, locate the suppliers, and eradicate the rest of the drugs before they got into the wrong hands. Once the drug wore off, I still had certain skillsets that impressed an organization like SHIELD, and since my life in Taiwan didn't pan out…” She waved her hand around and quirked a smile at him.

" _Iron Man, Black Widow, report._ "

Natasha put her hand to the communicator in her ear, "Targets neutralized, Captain. Iron Man is conscious, but immobile. Gonna need a pickup."

* * *

5

Clint makes another reference to some past event that only him and Natasha were present for, over the comms,  _bragging_ practically about how they know more about each other than any of them do, and Tony has had it.

He blasts through another henchman with a samurai sword, the reason for Clint's reference in the first place, " _reminds you of that one crazy girl, right?_ " and decides to snark before Natasha can give Clint some snappy comeback.

"Let me guess, a blond bent on revenge in a yellow jumpsuit?"

"How did you know?" Natasha asks, probably taking down ten henchman in a second by flipping her hair, "She blamed me for the loss of her child, just because the old crew I ran with hunted her down on her wedding day and put her in a coma. She knew the price of trying to get out without squaring things away with our boss.

"I had a nice life built up for myself at that point, retired into a cozy life of a crime boss with my own group of assassins. They used swords, just like this group. I called them my spiders."

Tony could hear the fondness in her tone.

"However once the woman woke up from her coma and started killing us, well, she killed all 99 of my spiders in one night. Tried to kill me too, but just left me to bleed to death in the snow. Clint found me, brought me to SHIELD, and I used my... skillset, to try and repay my debt to them."

"Great. Just... Great. Of course."

"Cut the chatter." Captain reminded everyone through their comms.

* * *

 +1

Steve and Tony are sparring, a habit that none of the Avengers ever saw coming. Steve practically lived in the gym, and after the whole Afghanistan thing Tony had been concerned with being the healthiest him he could be. Maybe to overcompensate for being on the verge of death always. So green smoothies, habitual visits to the gym, and sparring sessions with Happy.

Then sparring sessions with Happy were seen by gym enthusiast Steve, and he offered his services to both of them. Happy managed about a week sparring with Captain America before claiming he was too busy being head security of Stark Industries, the  _coward,_ while Tony kept being guilted into it with those patriotic blues of his. And, well, his reflexes were getting a little better, and his performance was Iron Man was improving, slightly,  _minimally,_ because of it. He would never admit that, though, that he didn't mind bonding with the Star Spangled Man in the ring.

"So, Natasha..." Tony brought up casually, ducking a hook from Steve and trying to sweep his legs. He doesn't succeed.

"No, _Steve_."

Tony huffed. Steve thought he was  _funny._

"No, I'm bringing her up as conversation."

"Right. Of course. What about?"

"You talk to her."

"We kind of live together. It'd be hard not to."

Tony sighed as Steve attempted humor,  _again,_ and grabbed one of the water bottles off to the side. Steve hadn't even broken a sweat and Tony was out of breath. He tossed Steve another bottle in an effort to build up camaraderie and wheedle out whatever information he had.

"Well you also went on the lam together and took down SHIELD and HYDRA skipping together and holding hands."

"There wasn't so much skipping as dodging bullets and falling from buildings. And speeding cars. And bridges. And--"

"Okay I get it. Less hand holding, more running for your life."

"Don't forget the explosions. Everything was always exploding. Is there a reason you're asking about this?"

"Small talk." Steve raised an eyebrow, "Okay. It doesn't bug you at all?"

"Explosions always bug me. I can never just dodge it, cause then that means that others get caught in the blast. So I have to use the shield, and wait until everyone is safe, and it wastes time that I could be using to take down whoever set it off in the first place."

"No, not that.  _Jesus,_ Captain Complainer. I was talking about Natasha."

"Oh. What about her?"

"The fact that we literally know nothing about her."

"Of course we do. We know she's a friend."

"Right, and an Avenger, and a housemate, but who is  _she._ "

"Tony."

"Steve."

"She's a  _friend._ " Tony rolled his eyes, yes, he  _knew_ that, he heard him the first time, "And as a friend we should respect her choice to keep her past to herself. She took a risk, posting all of SHIELD's information online and making all of our files public. Hers included. It makes sense that she'd want to keep the rest of her past to herself. Both of our lives are laid out for the public, in biographies and museum exhibits and _the internet._ Shouldn't we try and help protect the privacy of our teammates, since we were never given any ourselves?"

"But... She keeps using movie plots as childhood anecdotes!"

"No she doesn't."

"She does! She totally does!"

"No, some of them are television shows."

Natasha has crept in without Tony noticing, but Steve's sneaky senses have been honed after living with superspies for so long, and he greets Natasha casually. He hops out of the ring, claps Natasha on the shoulder, and moves to the corner to cool down with crazy yoga positions no one should be able to do.

Tony hates both of them.

Natasha is staring at him while he goes through his water bottle, and it is more than her usual studying of his behavior, it is  _dissecting_ him and he doesn't like it.

"What? Gonna tell me how you were whisked off to a wizarding boarding school at eleven and took down a major terrorist with your two spunky friends before you turned eighteen?"

Steve, doing a handstand that was turning into some crab position (Tony hadn't done the crab move since he was a kid, Steve was so  _juvenile, honestly,_ ) shook his head.

Natasha remains quiet even longer, and he is done with his water bottle and done with  _this, seriously,_ he is  _done,_ before she finally speaks.

"I remember my father. His eyes were a pale blue that almost looked gray. Like snow dirtied on the side of the road. He dressed me in blue petticoats and red ribbons, and walked me through the snow to ballet every day. I remember an old woman with wrinkles that extended from her mouth as she would instruct us through arabesques and brises. I can still assume perfect form." She moves almost as if to dance for them before stopping and relaxing into her familiar stance, legs spaced apart and arms at her sides. "That never happened. I never knew my parents, and I never went to ballet class. But I remember it."

She walks out without another word. Her face never emoted _anything,_ no quirk of a lip, no eyebrow raise, nothing. Does that mean she's telling the truth?

Steve gives Tony his disappointed eyes and he glares right back.

"I'm not the asshole here. There's no asshole in this. She offered me the information, I didn't even ask."

Steve doesn't look impressed.

"We _bonded_."

**Author's Note:**

> what is a beta reader. what is proofreading.
> 
> list of references:  
> 1\. Lost in Translation  
> 2\. Gotham  
> 3\. Leon the Professional  
> 4\. Lucy  
> 5\. Kill Bill  
> +1. Minor reference to Harry Potter


End file.
